The reason I am composing this all of a sudden is because I met a close friend and her newborn princess yesterday. They are in the pink of health but Dr.H and I sensed subtle traces of Postpartum Blues in the mother which flashed in front of our eyes my very own story that happened one and half years ago. Rather than sharing my experience as such, I would like to summarize the lessons here so that struggling moms who are sailing in the same boat could navigate better at this evanescent phase. *Hold my hands*
The sleep cycle will eventually fall into place: Ask me not for the exact date or month in which it is likely to happen, but I am telling you, the stronger you hope for, the sooner you get blessed with longer hours of sleep.
Your baby is in safe hands: Everyone around you loves your little one as much as you do. They are doing their best to ensure the two of you are happy, healthy and 100% safe. It is right and okay to trust the elderly members of the family who come forward to attend to your baby’s needs at the expense of their precious time. Try not to be over-protective of your child when your kith and kin offer a helping hand.
You are SO loved: Not just by your husband and the baby. The entire family loves you to the moon and back. They may not offer open support or show their presence 24/7. Yet in some way or the other, every one of them contributes to your wellness (and your baby’s too). Right now, your parental commitments might blind you from noticing it. After few weeks, when you look back at the bygones, I am sure you will cry happy tears for all the love you have been endowed with.
Managing the Doula: If you aren’t used to stay-at-home servants, having a stranger at home (I mean, the doula) can be downright annoying. Since their whole point of being in your house is to take care of you and the baby, you are more likely to spend the whole day (and night) with them. Their presence invades our privacy, agreed. In my case, I desperately needed her help and couldn’t do anything without her assistance, all the while craving personal space and time for myself. When I talked about this to a friend, she suggested me to just utilise her to the maximum. Her exact words were “Think of the hefty sum (We, Indians generously pony up the postpartum doulas) you exchange for her service. She is just an indispensable resource. Nothing more. Never let her offer opinions or share personal rants. Try to extract her time and efforts wisely. Time to show off your managerial skills”.
Forgive yourself: Are you in that weird phase where one moment you yell at every single face that shows up in front of you, the next moment you drown in an ocean of guilt feeling sorry for your act? Say hello to mood swings. It makes you look like a weirdo amidst a room full of normal people. Bad, I know. But that’s okay. Emotional fluctuation is commonly observed in women immediately after childbirth. Believe me, this is transient and shall definitely pass. All you need to do is to accept the change, stay calm and wait for the tide to subside. Be more kind to yourself during this phase. I also insist you to communicate more with your partner or supportive friends and family members regarding the state of your mind so that they treat you with more love and care.
Think BIG: Your brain may not be at its best right now. Chances are that you brood over superficial issues that are not going to affect your life at a greater scale. The moment such thought obstructs your peace, try to stay mindful and imagine the bigger picture. The challenges you face right now are not worth bothering about. They are trivial when compared to the eternal happiness that motherhood offers in return. Recall the vibrant day-dreams you had during your pregnancy. Cling on to them. You have a brand new piece of clay awaiting to be moulded in the best way possible. How lucky are you! Embrace the present moment for these kids grow up too fast in the blink of an eye.
Stay positive: Stay consciously positive. Spend some quality time with the baby when you are less exhausted. Just stay beside and notice your bundle of joy. Their velvety soft skin, perfectly designed limbs, divine face, aligned features, cutesy bum and angelic expressions are worth admiring all day and night. Remember, the first few months of a mother’s life are meant to be explicitly devoted for the baby’s growth and wellness. Embrace this beautiful responsibility with grace. Don’t forget to eat right. Good food stimulates good vibes which in turn promotes better health. Chanting slogans or prayers can also help in staying happy at this time.
Photos from unsplash.com
Share your tried and tested tips to manage postpartum blues in the Comments section below.